Have you ever traveled to another country? Technically I have not, but after attending the 2018 RT Convention I feel like I have.
Thankfully the convention was close by and in a familiar place, Peppermill Resort, Reno, NV, so I was not completely lost in this building like some attendees. However, I felt like everyone was speaking a foreign language. I would stand among a group and just listen, smile and nod. I must have looked silly. I had no idea what they were saying. First names of authors were spoken and everyone knew who they were but me. Still smiling but completely confused now.
Day 1 was a blogger synopsis for me. I expected a crowded room with chairs and the instructors sitting in front of the room. Nope. We were on the top floor boardroom. Like huge boardroom.
I was with 2 ladies I met by the elevators who were waiting to go in. Upon entering the suite I saw table rounds set up for our lunch later. We heard some voices up stairs. Yes, it is a 2 level boardroom. Walking up the spiral staircase we were greeted by Sara from Smart Bitches Trashy Books. Sara and Jay from Joyful Jay were our hosts. I wish I had taken pictures but I was like a kid in a candy shop. Eyes so big and mouth hanging open. Let’s see if I can paint the picture.
Picture it. Screens around the room for displaying the presentation. Overstuffed chairs so big my feet did not touch the floor. OK I am barely 5ft tall so that’s not unusual but you get the idea. The conference table was humongous and had outlets down the center. Each seat was set up with a bottle of Fiji water and glass. No Crystal Geyser for the fancy location. Desk blotters were also in front of each chair along with a little notebook and pen. I noticed the whole table was not set up for use. I guess the crowded part of the class was not part of the plan. This was actually very intimate. Mind blown again.
I was always taught to sit in the front of the class so that’s where I headed. I took out my simple black HP laptop that was specially purchased for me from hubby just for blogging. Took out my new business cards and walked around to drop on off on each blotter. Yeah, I was full of confidence. All smiles and ready to kick ass.
As each new blogger walked in we exchanged cards and they set up. I watched as each one pulled a Mac out of their bags and situated themselves. I glanced around the room and felt out of place. Oh well, my little laptop does the job. I am all set.
The ‘class’ started with the normal introductions and I did my best to type and remember everyone’s name and blog. I am horrible with names. Sarah and Jay introduced themselves and I was next. I sat in the front remember so I was the first of the attending bloggers.
“Hi, I run The Redheads Romance Readers book blog and 2 closed Facebook groups”. Man I was proud as I spoke. “I started in Dec 2017 and this is all very new to me but I love it”. Still smiling to myself the blogger to my left introduced herself and so on down the line.
Each of one gave a little bit of background on our blogs and I shrunk down in the chair a bit. I realized I was much smaller in this book world than I imagined. I was putting myself down. I did not feel up to everyone else’s level. I was Facebook only and that was different. I will add there was some deep personal things happening at home with my son so that added to my insecurity in that moment.
Sarah and Jay went on teaching and providing some amazing information, tips and talked to all of us the same way no matter how long we had been blogging. I did not ask many questions because I was not sure what to ask but I took notes. A bit later we had a catered lunch at those downstairs tables. My overwhelmed feeling just kept growing.
When lunch was finished we walked up that spiral staircase again and prepared for more from these two YODA Jedi Blogging Masters. So much data and information. I know it is in my brain somewhere and it will slowly leak out. Hopefully at the right time.
Unfortunately I was on overload towards the end. It was a long day and I am always very hard on myself. I expect to be the best at everything I do. I don’t think I am the best but I am always trying to reach for it.
I was ready to go home. This was so much bigger than me. So much bigger than I am ready for. It was only Tuesday 5/15 and I was supposed to stay until Monday 5/22. I texted my husband. I needed to hear from him before I jumped ship.
3:11 pm – I think I want to come home. Turning my phone off because I am finishing this class.
3:54 pm – I am very overwhelmed. I will call you when this class is done.
3:56 pm – This class is just way to big for me. It’s not who I am.
By this text I was trying my hardest not to start bawling. I get very emotional.
3:59 pm – I’ve just figured out I’m a billionth of a micro piece of a grain of salt in this universe
I was so overwhelmed. His response could be a line in any romance book out there.
4:10 pm – In the grander scheme of things so is everyone else. But in the story of my life you are the costar and the best supporting person in our boys lives.
Go ahead and read it again. I have reread it everyday since I came home.
There was a lot more to Day 1 but for me it kind of ended on that text. Some other cool things happened. We met to publishers, received some very exclusive Advanced copies of books. Had a cocktail party hosted by Harlequin publishers. But all of that became a blur because the man I love supports and loves me so much and made it known in that text. He gave me the courage to stick it out. Not going to lie, I still thought about leaving about 10 more times because of that overwhelming feeling but I didn’t.
I will give you some more highlights soon. For now it’s back to reading.
~Red xoxo
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I’m so proud of you. You were that little 5 ft nothing, but your heart was bigger than the state. Wanting to krarn, to better yourself, to have fun, to make our lives more interesting with what you learned and would bring home. I seen pictures, Mps, and a little “blogger ” become that BIGGER woman with confidence with each picture, now live feeds and of course, the Mps. You made me proud to know you, holding your head high, rubbing elbows, helping with things the “other” bloggers were not invited to or interested in, but you persevered and kept on going! The things you learned can never be taken away and look, you’ve got your post now and supporting Autism, encouraging others always. So my take on it is, the little duck became a swan. And with the backing and words of your husband, you have nowhere to go but up. Keep climbing. I’ll keep following.